is your 'problem' really a problem?

(Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash)

Life, at times, is complicated as my blog post title.

I complicated it intentionally as most of us are doing with our lives.

Problems are turning in to endless worry loops because of the set of the lens we choose to see it.

The overall essence of this post is to let you remind that the meaning we give to what's happening to us is the biggest cause of all headaches and sleepless nights.

Many people are on an autopilot mode when an event occurs to them.

According to their previous experiences, they read it as positive or negative, opportunity or threat, and uplifting or catastrophic.

We have more choices than often we think initially.

I would like to suggest you to use three filters to interpret the thoughts that come to your mind to give a better conscious meaning to whatever happens to you. It empowers you not fall into the trap of automatic thoughts, excessive generalizations and destructive patterns of behavior.

Let's get back to the filters.

Ask yourself below questions when you find yourself worrying about something.

FILTER #1 :

Am I distorting the experience imagining only the worst outcome?

Sometimes our fears and worries are cooked up in our mind.

Take a job interview situation, You answered all the questions and later you came to know that one of the answers was not right.

You can choose to be regretful about it and keep it nagging at the back of your mind until the interview results are out or you can make peace of it giving a pat on your back as you answered all other questions.

FILTER #2 :

Am I stuck with a destructive generalization?

Take the same interview scenario, you may generalize about yourself.

"I screw up all my opportunities"

"I am an unlucky person always"

When we choose to view the situation from an alternative perspective, you can tell yourself.

"I answered all other questions confidently & till interview results are out, I can wait and I did well"

"I am fortunate to have my CV shortlisted for the face to face interview from loads of applications online"

FILTER #3 :

Am I focussing only on the darker side?

In the above scenario, look for the brighter side instead of filtering out only what went wrong.

Seeing only the negative side is a habit.

It really needs a longtime effort to shift your habit of seeing the glass half empty to the glass half full.

Whenever any events happen to you where the outcome is to be worried about. It's healthy and peaceful to expect positive results.

Next time, when you are worried about something, ask yourself the above 3 questions and filter out all destructive patterns of thoughts.

This is a true and effective strategy used in cognitive behavior therapy.

"Try it out worriers and let us become WARRIORS"